At last! A private safe nonjudgmental space to talk about the dangers and pitfalls of working with attractive and vulnerable people.
Healthcare, clergy, law enforcement, media, people in the sports arena, education, military, parents, relatives, the list goes on. Society is not even close to understanding the concept of occupational hazards. (Read the full story below in the app tabs. It’s not even fully developed yet beyond healthcare, so please reach out and we’ll “go there” for your field.)
Please create a fake anonymous email and become part of the conversation! Let’s have chat groups, zoom meetings, even in-person outlets one day.
The wishful thinking of Freud, Kinsey, Hefner and the 1960s is over. It turns out urges do need to be controlled, disciplined, not given up to “free love.” It’s time to worry less about the “dangers” of “suppression” of “natural instinct.” Too much damage has been done.
And not only to the victims! It’s not good or healthy for the violator either. The Holocaust wasn’t just bad for Jews, it was devastating for Germans. Saying yes to Hitler and terrible philosophies led to annihilation of human character, followed by decades and decades of shame and remorse, embarrassment. A brilliant culture shattered. And then efforts to reconcile it all lead to denial and minimization for some, and to what I call remorse fatigue for many.
We can’t get away from history, we just change the words. Breaking everyone down into predators and victims is resorting back to sinners and saints language. There is something very dangerous afoot and the answer is not to divide society further into two kinds of gated community.
A lot can be prevented if we understand it better. We just won’t have anyone left if we treat all sinners as discardable. Violators can be recycled. Prisons are a mess and very very expensive. What a waste of human capital. Let’s have everyone be productive instead.
One key to prevention is training potential victims and perpetrators to navigate their lives and choices better. The FBI and CIA cannot prevent every scam; the public must know how to be vigilant. As a parent, I’m personally not counting on society to keep my children safe; I train them to be very aware and deliberate in their decision-making. It’s also absurd to keep putting stock in titles like priest, doctor, professor, sergeant, coach, uncle as if that overrides human weakness or guarantees safety. At the end of the day we’re all human, and factors like psychosis, trauma, stress, pressure, fatigue, PTSD, bipolar, divorce, loneliness, a wish to make a difference, and more can be involved.
The scandals haven’t come from a problem with genuine trust, they come from laziness. It’s convenient to assume a butler won’t steal, but shame on you if you leave money lying around. The bad apple theory needs to end. We are all vulnerable under a certain totality of conditions if they occur.
It’s going to take a lot of open dialog and honesty to understand what is occurring and to better promote everyone’s safety and success, whether lions or lambs. Predators gotta pray. No one falls in love anymore, it’s all grooming and abuse language. The seemingly innocent are not so innocent anymore. Power roles can switch in a flash and the laws and judges are decades behind in understanding this.
It’s easy to have your guard up with a lawyer in Armani. But remember to also have it up with seemingly compassionate people in cheap clothing.
RISK ALERT! (App in Progress)
